I do hope you enjoy...

She Bangs the Drums – 15th July 2007

Dear all, my deepest apologies for being absent for so long.  You wouldn’t believe me if I said I’d been on a retreat at a Greek Orthodox monastery on Mount Athos in Greece, then visiting Transylvanian villages in Romania and finally a wild fling on the island of Tlön.  But believe me; if the number of mails in my inbox is anything to go by, then you have missed me as much as I have missed you.  Wow, I really had no idea that my innocent ramblings were read that much, nor were in fact that entertaining!  Well, it seems I was wrong on both counts.  Oh dear, oh dear and now just when you think I am back, vamping it up from Eastern Europe to the Far East I must sadly disappoint you… again.

 It is more than a full year since I started my idle bloggings, and I now feel I must stop.  Not quite a fin de siècle in the truest sense, but it seems that way to me.  I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t an amazing year and an eye-opening experience every fuck of the way.  The road less travelled has been one of the most interesting I’ve ever travelled.  And that has been, mainly, thanks to you all!  And so, as a reward and as I promised right at the beginning of my blog, I will tell you the story of Mr K and how I lost my virginity at a very tender age… it is fitting to end at the very beginning.

 Since what happened was essentially illegal, I won’t sex this up at all, instead I am going to write it in a newspaper court reportage style just for a change.  I will leave the lascivious parts up to your own objectionable imaginings:

“A married Russian music teacher had sex with a 15-year-old pupil so many times that she "lost count", a jury was told. Mr. K is alleged to have begun an affair with the teenager within weeks of her turning 15 in the mid-1990s. 

The pair made love in the cupboard, in his car, in an underpass, at the zoo and even in his marital bed over the next 12 months, it was claimed.  Mr. K’s former student, now 26, revealed intimate details of their alleged relationship to a jury at the Court. She told how they would have sex up to six times a week (although it could have been more since she lost count), but was told it was to be "their special secret". 

The woman, who cannot be named, said: "We did it in so many different places I lost count. He said I was not to say anything because he would lose his job and his wife would castrate him."  The pair would meet in a room during lunch breaks where the teenager, a talented percussionist, was practicing, it was claimed.  It is alleged that Mr. K would enter the room using a "special knock" so she would know it was him. They would then perform sex acts while she played the xylophone to give the impression she was practicing to anyone listening from outside the room.  On occasions when Mr. K was particularly lusty she would bang the kettle drums, the woman said. 

The Court heard that he liked to be called "Big Daddy" during sex and told the girl: "You've got detention with me at the same time next week, you dirty girl” as he used the music room curtains to wipe his penis clean.  The jury was told how Mr. K also followed the girl, who by now was 16, on a family holiday trip.  The young woman said she sneaked out of her room to meet Mr. K in his hotel room where they had sex, without the xylophone, until she returned splay-legged at dawn.  The relationship only ended when Mr. K’s wife found out and cut his balls off, divorced him and re-took her maiden name of Kutchyorbalsov.

That’s all, take care possums, Eros, c'est la vie

Ex

Bi-curiosity Kissed the Pussy – Sunday 25th March 2007

For a while now I have been corresponding with a young woman who is beyond doubt the hottest person I correspond with ;)  Her name is Mia.  Mia and I chat often about Sapphic love, you know, real girl on girl passion, much as I described in my earlier pieces last year when I talked about my ex-lover, Som.  Anyway, just to keep it fresh and real I asked Mia to write a ‘guest’ piece for me about her bi-curious fantasies… and this is it!!     

Mia says, “Hmmm... my hottest fantasy with another girl… would be in a gym shower… ;)  I used to go to the gym, and when I go to the showers, some girls undress and walk to the shower stalls naked, or half naked. Some girls have wonderful bodies… fair-skinned; full bouncing breasts, firm and taut butt... I get so turned on just by looking at them. On a few occasions, a girl happens to be undressing / dressing right next to me and I can help by catch a glance of two, of her beautiful naked body.

Sometimes when I walk past the shower stalls, the shower curtains are not completely covered, so there was once I saw this girl inside, all naked covered with soap suds, and lathering the soap all over her body.  OMG...I was so tempted to go in and join her in the shower, and run my hands all over her soapy body!  I can imagine myself rubbing my own soapy naked body against hers; feel her breasts and nipples rubbing against mine… The softness of her breasts, and her nipples getting hard…

I see the water running down her taut and smooth body… down her firm round breasts...down her belly… down to her beautiful shaven pussy...

I want to cup her breasts in my hands, and massage them gently and rub her nipples until they become stiff and I want to gently lick and nibble on them...and hear her moan and arch her back with pleasure…  I want to lick and suck gently on her nipples until she cant take it anymore, and beg for release…

I then go behind her and reach over to touch her clit, massaging it in a circular fashion while caressing her breasts with the other hand.  I can hear her moaning become louder...her breathing getting heavier and her hips start gyrating to the firm pressure I apply to her clit... Rubbing and rubbing...

I reach a finger to touch inside her pussy and feel such incredible wetness, and I get so excited knowing that she's so aroused...  I rub her clit harder and faster, as I can feel her climax coming.  Soon she starts to moan even louder, and jerk her hips as she starts to cum…  "Arrrrrhhh... Arrrrhhh... Arrrrhh..." She moans...and I can feel her hips jerking to the waves of pleasure coursing through her loins…

This fantasy always makes me so HOT!  Whenever I masturbate to this fantasy, I always come very fast, and the orgasm is very intense… :)”

Well darling Mia, I have to say that reading your fantasy made me so hot and wet, I had to go and take a shower!!  OMG indeed…!!  Thanks for that, dear.  And kisses for you…

So, boys and girls, it does happen out there.  All the time! You never know when someone is looking at you and secretly getting wound up and as horny as a horn dog just thinking about YOU!!  :-P  And, boys, that also applies to the other boys in the gym shower rooms… Ha ha ha ha.

Exx

PS. Talking of curiosity, many, many of you have asked for more information about the ‘amazing’ person I said I have met.  Well, to calm the storm a bit, her name is PLC and she and I have become very close recently.  But don’t worry; this new friendship will certainly NOT cause the end of the Edie files :-)  

Shaven Haven; So Small and Yet So Many Secrets - 15th March 2007

My pussy is shaved as smooth as a … well, as smooth as a pussy that’s been shaved.  (That’s lame I know.  However when I considered using the obvious comparison with the silky state of a pre-pubescent vertical smile, I thought I may get into serious trouble for even suggesting that anyone over the age of 16 creates a mental image one of those!!)  Anyway, where was I before I got onto pre-teen pussy pictures?  Ah, yes, my very own shaven haven.  Well, it’s not such a big deal really, but it is one of many things about me that lead me recently to have the following (rather philosophical for me) thoughts about my life…

You see, in my real life and in my blog, by necessity, I portray a certain image of myself.  Whatever that is, be it confident, adventurous, cheeky, bold, sexy, daring etc. it is most definitely not the image I have of myself.  No Ma’am and Siree, to me, in my heart of private hearts, I am just a little Asian girl; bemused, delighted, intrigued and very much mystified by the workings of our undulating Universe. 

Take this for example.  Yesterday, I had a weird, almost out of body experience.  I was walking to lunch with a very tall, almost 2m to my tiny 155cm, Australian man called Hank.  It was a date of sorts; but nothing naughty.  He was the friend of a friend of my father’s who was in town on accounting business and needed a little chaperoning.  Anyway, as we walked to lunch I caught a glimpse of our reflections in the big glass windows of an office block; him lanky, middle aged and Western, me petite, young and Asian.  At that moment, when I caught a snapshot view of myself in the windows, I also sort of had a trippy head-moment where I wondered what, at that very instant, this mild-mannered but terminally boring man would think if he even had the slightest inkling of the following 20 secret Edie realities:

1. I lost my virginity to a much older man when I was a tender age
2. I cry when I am lonely, and I am lonely often
3. My pussy is totally shaven, every piece of fluff gone, every curly ass-hair plucked
4. My favourite colour is red
5. I masturbate every morning and orgasm without fail
6. I despise men who try to seduce me with gifts (especially perfume!)
7. I find sucking cocks irresistible
8. I find the idea of monogamy plainly ludicrous
9. I swallow, nay, gulp semen and love it
10. My favourite smell is female pheromones especially sourced directly from a warm secret garden
11. I can and do squirt when orgasming, which is why I seldom wear underwear
12. I think George W Bush is evil and devoid of any redeeming or even mitigating qualities
13. A Singapore $5 note wraps around my wrists making them slimmer, in girth, than the penises of most men I have shagged
14. Simple poetry moves me in ways that I find hard to understand or explain
15. My pussy is in fact quite tiny and delicate, despite the serial exploitation it receives
16. I think children are the most precious things in existence and should be treated as such
17. All forms of anal sex are very much part of my sexicon; rimtastic in fact!
18. I stare and lust after women (almost) as much as I do men, especially ones with breasts larger than mine
19. I think that humility and selflessness are the ultimate human qualities, we should all be more humble
20. The thought of being bathed in the spunk from several jumping cocks turns me on while simultaneously disgusting me

 And so, now you think you know some of my unwhisperable realities ;) and possibly therefore know more about me…  But, since I remain a chimera and possibly even an enigma to you… all these little gems shall live on as my secrets, hidden discreetly like a fresh pearl necklace from the prying eyes of an inquisitive mother.

 E xx

 PS. I tried to flash Hank some pussy when I sat opposite him at lunch, but I think he was cleaning the tines of his fork!!

PPS. I have met someone amazing… 

Beware the Edie’s of March – 3rd March 2007

Ooooh, I have to warn you all – I am in super minx-mode this month! It’s as if I have cast off the dark and gloomy mantle of the last two months and found a new inner light. Or, rather, a new inner fire! I am on HEAT, hotter than a steaming bowl of wonton noodle soup… (Wanton noodle soup would be more appropriate perhaps?!)

Take what happened last night for instance. At 6.30pm I was all a-dizzy with excitement because a very hot young man was coming around to shower and change at my apartment before going off to some big, fancy office party he had to attend. He was showered and shampooed; freshly brushed and scrubbed from teeth to tushie and back in my room to change. Grinningly he dropped his towel in front of me… No sooner had I glimpsed his glorious cock, fat and heavy with anticipation of what I *might* do to it than the doorbell rang!

Oh shit with sugar on, I cursed under my breath. “You!” I said, pointing at the not-so-little man with the bobbing head, “Stay there.” Then I winked lasciviously at the real man, before dashing through to the living room to peek through the peephole thingy. I peeked only to see my Grandmother of all people! *Groan* So, calming myself briefly, I opened the door and said sweetly “Nainai, come in… how nice to see you,” hoping to hell that throbbing-dick man would stay in my room while Grandma was on-deck. All she said, as she always does, was, ”Tea-ah, Edie, xie xie” mixing her broken English with Mandarin before shuffling through to the kitchen and plonking herself down in front of the small flat-screen TV I have on the wall next to the fridge. While she poked at the remote control with a crooked, bony finger I put the kettle on the gas and rushed back to my bedroom…

He was still there thankfully, but was (rather unnervingly) stroking his dick while staring at two photos I have on my wall of me as a sylphlike six-year old… “Mmm, oh well, whatever creams his twinkie,” I thought briefly while simultaneously calculating if I had enough time to suck him off before the kettle started to whistle in the kitchen and Nainai started croaking about tea again.

Virtually skidding to a stop in front of him on my knees I grabbed his fat, marvellous cock and shoved it in my mouth. Sucking heatedly at the heavy head in my mouth I looked up, hoping to see him looking down at me lovingly - with appreciation, admiration, a little bit of wonder and a whole lot of awe… (I don’t expect much in return for a bbbjcimsw, do I ;-) However, worryingly I saw none of the above, above me in his face.

What I did see was him looking a more than little concerned and distracted, pointing over my head with his hand. Letting him slip wetly from my mouth I turned, much annoyed, to see what he was pointing at… Well, he was pointing at my Grandma who was staring furiously at him. In my haste I had forgotten to close the bedroom door and Nainai had turned around and got a clear view straight across the living room to see a large, muscular, naked Ang Moh man standing there moaning while her childlike grand-daughter’s head bobbed up and down in his crotch!

Aiyo… To cut a long oral stimulation story short ;-), there was nothing for it but to kick the door closed, get on with the (blow) job and face the fall-out later… I do think March is going to be a very hot and deliciously reckless month indeed – so beware you boys and girls out there, you may meet me!!

E xx

PS. Bbbjcimsw – for those uninitiated of you out there stands for “Bare back blow-job, cum in mouth, swallow.” The bbbjcimsw is basically the pinnacle of all bj’s; the full works, no condom, cum in mouth and a syrupy, delicious swallow. Oh I can tell you girls that if you do allow him to cum in your mouth you have fully wasted all your time and a set of sticky teeth if you then spit instead of swallow. The pleasing sound of you going, “oohg-oohg-oohg” as you enthusiastically gulp his load is cosmically more of a turn-on to your man than the sorry sound of you going, “splatch-splatch-spluck” as you spit his residue into a tissue!